 |
I'm so...
-FAT-
-UGLY-
-WORTHLESS-
-DISGUSTINGLY UGLY-
-VAIN-
-USELESS-
-STUPID-
-DUMB-
-CRAPPY-
-LAZY-
-SLACK-
-AMAZINGLY FAT-
-SHOPAHOLIC-
-PIG-
-LOVE SICK-
-DID I MENTION FAT & UGLY...-
i'm better off dead.... nobody needs me...
Contact Me
|
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 31, 2004
Posted at 11:12 pm by mAylEne114
i cant get into my other blog....
-boohoo boo hoo....-
Posted at 10:54 pm by mAylEne114
Jul 26, 2004
notice its black n white...
i did it juz fer ya...
went to school super reluctantly.... wahhaha
everyday also same feeling when i wake... *bleahz*
yeah.. din smile the first thing though...
sch was normal... not much happening stuff...
went to meet up wid amelia to go to church for mugging session...
xin wanted to c how she looks so ya...
she followed mi all the way to the bus stop.... wahhahah!~!~!
amelia saw clara... probably chatted.... ya...
xin went crazy upon seeing her.... wahhahah... super farny... *rolls on floor*
went to eat at the market... bleeahz... all the shitey eating stuff...
had major studying session.. PLUS frequent toilet sessions....
i seriously tink i have some probs wid my bladder.... *shrug*
cant do my maths... tried reading them... understanding them....
but i JUST FREAKING CANT!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn fucked up larz... always spent time le... still cant get a single shit into my puny brain... -ArGhZ-
u.sitting.dere.i.looking.at.u.my.hrt.doing.flips.over.and.over.
amelia was nice enough to try helping to understand my functions(math)....
thankz dearie... she was like reading n trying to figure out the damn freaking diff qnz... to add to her load... she had to figure out my ugly writing...
-blushes-
gotta do ODAC stuff le... sadz... still need to get chem done later... absolutely utterly crap-er-rism.... -shuns the world-
eyes.locked.hands.held.breaths.felt.body.close.yearns...lips.locked.love.felt.
-hrt melts- -faints-
r u really true abt wat u said... -tinks-
Posted at 08:15 pm by mAylEne114
Jul 25, 2004
wahahhaha.....
had tuition today...
its been such a long time since i had tuition....
muahahhaha....
had chem tuition wid JX...
wahhahha....
really missed those days....
those days at xie lao shi house having tuition...
we were practically playing larz...
no tuition feeling....
the KFC days...
the gossiping bitching days...
the helping to solve love problem days...
sighz...
its great u freaks hu made my freaking day...
*smilez*
-hugs all so damn tightly...
nearly suffocating all-
ya tuition session was really beneficial....
ya....
really understood almost all the shit tt was taught....
though it was tough....
but still i managed to scrape thru the 3 hours..... tot of YOU so much in between....
chem is like shit....
i dunno wat freakin word is rite for tt freaking A hole subject....
its so darn hard to understand...
mi n my stupid analogy tt chem wld b the same as sec sch.....
boy was a wrong......
WTH manz.....
its so damn diff.....
dunno wat bond here covalent dere...
dipole here induce dere....
ionisation here atomic dere.....
*bleahz* cant give a *uck abt all dis....
but wat shit can i do....
its life..
meant to b a living freaking painful time...
Y????
so tt we'll appreciate heavennnnn..... ;)
having a break out...
darnz...
ugly enough le...
y is this happening to mi....
fat..
ugly...
-shuns from world-
Posted at 09:50 pm by mAylEne114
Jul 24, 2004
baby boy....
my love for u will never end..
u'll always b a part of mi....
as long as time keeps passing by...
you'll always b my baby boy....
i tried....i really did....didn't wanna play wid ya....
i tried...
i tried...
i tried...
i tried...
i tried...
i tried....
confessions....
[Chorus:]
These are my confessions
ya...love... y the fucking hell do we need love...i'm falling...breaking...u were rite...i
Just when I thought I said all I can say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
should not have started...but u told mi to ry too...confussion....u caused mi to tink
Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do
I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions
so much...so much so tt i cant study well...u were the one...cant blame ya totally...
[Verse 1]
Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do
Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you
'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with
Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it
love aint like tt.... u asked if i was comfortable.... no.... i wasnt... never was.... i cld
The first thing that came to mind was you
Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true
Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did
How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship
[Chorus]
onli treat ya as a fren... nothing more... told ya b4.... tried going further... but
[Verse 2]
Sittin here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out
When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth
Said it ain't gon' be easy
But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'
failed... u were pushy... u held mi so tite.... i nearly fainted under u.... nearly broke
Be a man and get it over with (over with)
I'm ridin' in my whip
Racin' to her place
Talkin' to myself
Preparin' to tell her to her face
She open up the door and didn't want to come near me
I said "one second baby please hear me"
down... i hate it.... i liked ya... but not love.... i loved ya.... but not relationship...
[Chorus]
[Breakdown]
This by far is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do
friendship....
frendlovefrendlovefrendlovefrendlovefrendlovefrendlovefrendlovefrendlovefrendlove
To tell you, the woman I love
That I'm having a baby by a woman that I barely even know
i ended things yesterday.... so relaxed i muz say... i'm ok now... continueing life.... hu the fuck am i bluffing.... i'm not totally ok... but i'm healing.... healing... slow... but healing....I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this
And hopefully you'll give me another chance
This ain't about my career
This ain't about my life
It's about us
Please
Posted at 12:25 pm by mAylEne114
Jul 23, 2004
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-YF-^-^-^-^-^-^-
a long day i'll say.... ya... amelia came to meet mi n nic at my sch's bus stop... tt poopoo head was so swt.... hahhha.... *thankz* ya...we made our way to church..... talking laughing.... but amelis had her tummy pains.... hmmz.... *prays for her recovery* it was a really great trip to church.... though we waited FREAKING long for the idiotic 961..... *bleahz* nic went to play pool upon reaching... leaving mi n amelia behind... hahahha... wanted to play too... but no change of clothes.... yar.... i went to but SUSHI!!!! yum yum.... good food.... hahahahaha.... amelia told mi tt she didnt take jap food.... but then when dere.... she was like... "oh.. i eat squid... octopus.... salmon.... bla bla bla..." wth.... u eat jap food lar dum dum.... jap food doesnt revolve arnd seaweed...... ahhahahaha.....
YF was not badz... played dis dum dum but fun fun game... called mission possible...... sth to do wid the fingers ya...... math too.... ya i knoe i knoe.... i n math dun click... so obviously i was 'kicked out' on the first round.... opponent was ame...... yar.... she went quite far in to the rounds.... hahahha... but lost to christina.... wahahhahha... she blushed so hard... oso dunno for wat..... muahahahaha.... *cute*
went for dinner..... hahahaha... went for like dunno how many rounds.... hahaha.... needed to find sth not oily or heaty.... porridge was the like ideal choice.... hmmz.... the good lil mi... acc ame... but i couldnt stand porridge so i had vermicilli.... yumyum.... hahha... we ordered carrot cake too.... wanted to share... ahhahaha.... couldnt resist temptation... the carrot cake was like calling out for us.... good ol mi couldnt juz ignore it rite.... ya i bought a plate.... awww..... hahahahahahaha....yummy!!!!!!!!
was studying.... listening to the cd ame burned for mi..... so nice... *thankz* ya.... we had this really long 'conversation' hahahhaha..... on paper..... ahhahaha.....
so cute when slping....so nice to mi...talked loads abt mi probs...he's out of my life i tell ya...i tot damn fucking long...i'm thru...he's out...frenz or not....he's out..... out of my love life....
dun worry abt mi girl.... dun get sad or pissed over mi... i'm fine.... really.... *smilez*
somebody help buy chocs from mi.... asked leon n gavin to buy from mi... they were like.... hahahahahaha..... "let mi c..... hmmm.... u can have it bac...." so mean..... wahahahhaha.....
i'm gonna end here saying...... "he is out... not yet.... but soonz...."
Posted at 11:42 am by mAylEne114
Jul 19, 2004
happy Bday AmelIa!~!~!~!~!
 happy birthday pic to ya.... lolz!~!~!~! damn cute ritez.... purposely give u a guy pic... hahhhah!!!!!! turn st8 turn st8..... lolz!~!~!~!~! sweetie.... muz b happy today ya???? dun eat too much fried stuff le larz... saw ur blog, got so many fried oysters... fried kway teow..... tsk tsk tsk.... no good for your stomach.... *frownz* u aren't fully ok yet.... dun eat too much of this ya????
hahhha sound so naggy.... hey bong bong.... sorry i cant spend the bday wid ya today... tml ya??? needa pass u ur prezzie too.... hmmz.... u muz b tkaing a taxi home otday... Y??? coz u probably have too much frenz... thus too much prezzies... thus taking a taxi home..... lolz!~!~!~!~!~! *winkz* no drinking n clubbing today.... *shakes a finger at ya* tml got sch.. so so so no no no..... u betta listen or else.... *laughes wickedly*
this blog shall b dedicated to ya.... solely to ya.... take care my lil angel.... love ya loads... huggies & muackzies...
P.S: i'm stil curious abt ur crush... hope she wished ya happy bday too... den u sure super super happy...... hahahahhaaPosted at 12:04 pm by mAylEne114
in a maze i am in,
a maze of troubles,
troubles with love,
troubles with family,
troubles with frenz,
troubles with studies,
i am stuck,
i am lost,
somebody get me out,
somebody... somebody...
i've prayed, prayed hard,
i dunno wat i shld do now,
i'm clueless, absolutely clueless,
answer my prayers Lord,
i beg u, beg u...beg u,
i dun wanna b in this world,
i feel awful,
i dun wanna b putting up a front,
all this bloody farkers...
i dun like my life,
love-am i in love?
love-is tt love?
family-warmth?
family-left out?
family-constant nagging?
frenz-left out...
frenz-alone...
frenz-confidante???
studies-flunk.
i'm screwed,
useless & screwed,
wat am i cut out for?
i need a ladder,
to climb out,
to see the light of life,
the light i shld b seeing everyday,
the ladder may be broken,
a helping hand den,
but hu will b dere?
i've given up hope.
i've given up on myself.
struggling i am.
struggling hard,
but failing harder.
trying hard to please,
but disappointing more.
wat's the value of mi?
am i even supposed to b here.
who am i?
where am i?
why this state?
ppl say try n dun give up,
i've listened, tried, did.
but... failed over n over again.
i'm tired, very tried...
i've succumbed to fatigue,
tired... tired...
tired of struggling.
Posted at 11:48 am by mAylEne114
went to watch mean girls today... wahahhahaha.... super farny!!!!!! met xin at westmall.... hahhaha... was late... but took a cab dere!!!!!!!! see i so good ritez.... so freaking good... wahahhahahah jk!!!!!! ya anyway... she was so nice to actually ask mi if i wanted to watch.... n the good deal was tt its only 5 bucks... wahahhahahha cheapo mi.... whudeva the case... we were laughing like crazy asses in the theatre.... wahahhaha... it was really hilarious.... there was the hard boobs mum... n the little doggy was like nibbling her nipple thru her shirt.... wahahhahahahaha...... WTH manz.... den there was this dum dum blond.... hu uses her boobs as her weather gauge.... i was like rolling in laughter..... muahahahahaha.... -squeezes her boobs n says... "i tink its gonna rain... the weather is 38 degrees...."- hahahahahaha..... H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S ya den there was the part when linsay lohan dressed as a freaking stupid n scary dead wive..... hahahaha... now say like not farny... but its at the point of time tt was like REALLY REALLY farny!~!~!~!~!~! i'm telling ya... if u r down and out.... go catch dis show.... confirm laughter medi..... YAR.... U GO MEAN GIRLS....
Posted at 11:26 am by mAylEne114
Jul 18, 2004
i wanna b damn freakin thin now.... i cant stand it any longer.... the dancers r like.... "OH MY GOODNESS.... THEY HAVE SUCH NICE BODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i know i shld b contented wid wat i have.... but AAAARRRGGGHHHZZZ..... they look damn good in theeir outfits..... hmmz.... super envious.... *sobz* it's fat ugly maylene moaning n groaning again.... -moans- -groans-
went to see the doc the other day... doc said i had low blood pressure...... hmmmz..... hope he said it was sth due to mi eating too much.... so i will HAVE to cut down on wat i eat.... but i was thinking to myself... i already am eating really small proportions le...... hmmz.... i juz dunno y..... sighz... fat means fat larz.... so many diff pills to eat.... wahhahah... scary even to think abt it.... *bleahz*
amelia's sick too.... her case is worst off than mine... she's got this stomach problem... dunno called wat --> heartburn.... hahahha... sounds super farny rite.... like its called sth not even related to the tummy... lolz!~!~!~!~! hmmz... but she's in real pain constantly... pray really hard tt she'll b fine... dun wanna c my lil angel get sick.... dun wanna c her in constant pain.... *amelia if u reading dis... make sure u take care of urself ya???* -hugs-
i'm really confused.... i chose this path but things aren't going smoothly.... i feep on quarreling... small fights.... pety fights... but i feel damn irritated... y???? do i love u???? i feel hurt when things like fights happen.... does it mean love.... feelings r juz sooooooo complicated... y cant everybody juz have one allocated soulmate... no choosing... but will still satisfied wid the allocation... sighz.... y??? y???? damn fucking hell!!!!!! emotions= love.... its killing mi....
i'll just continue each day as it is.... *bleahz* GOD shall guideme... i really want n need him to..... really really do.... maylene's lost... very very lost....
lost.in.life.lost.in.love.lost.in.studies.just.lost.
Posted at 10:23 pm by mAylEne114
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
